Sunbathing

The Mediterranean runs sort of east west so, when you are cruising along in the summer months, you sometimes don’t get much sun on your balcony. Armed with enough kit to climb Everest we sallied forth in search of sun beds.

I’ve mentioned that the Aurora caters for the older generation. They’ve even got condoms for sale in the loos with ribbed markings to help the partially sighted. (Julie reckons there’d be a good market for Horlicks flavoured ones) Anyway searching for sun beds on the Aurora is not for the faint hearted. People should have licences to allow them to take off clothes - over sixties need not apply. We searched deck after deck for empty beds glancing left and right on a strictly need to know basis and occasionally trying hard not to stare.

The problem is that the Inside Cabin People emerge from their burrows as soon as they scent food in the morning and cover all the sun beds with towels and Jeffery Archers. There are rules against this but they are impossible to enforce. I think P&O should introduce a yellow line system. Double yellow lines would be for disabled sunbathers only. These would, of course, be carefully laid out to crisscross circulation routes and ensure staircases would be blocked. Single yellow line would have signs like “Sunbathing for 2 hrs only, Return within 1 hr prohibited”. The system could be administered by the waiters who have an uncanny ability to know how long you have been lying in the sun without a drink. Fixed penalties could include courses in line dancing and, for serial offenders, compulsory attendance at shows performed by people who used to be famous on black and white television. (There’s usually a choice)

We eventually found two sun beds on deck 13 next to the air conditioning plant. The roar of the machinery and the force 8 gale sweeping the deck sounded a bit like the crashing of waves so that was OK. We spent a very enjoyable 2 hrs soaking up the rays before we wandered off in search of food. Obviously we left our towels on the sun beds just in case we wanted to come back later.

Dave C