That’s Entertainment?

Aurora is a beautiful ship. The food and service are excellent. The entertainment is, well.....err.....

The entertainers are a mix of ‘Young Hopefuls’, ‘ Has Beens’ and a number in the ‘I’m beginning to realise that I probably won’t make it’ category. It’s a bit like the football teams at the bottom of the Premiership, sometimes this sort of mix works, but mostly it doesn’t. The song & dance troupe is called the Headliners and their routines are changed every six months after careful consideration of the artistic merits of previous performances. “The Andrew Lloyd Webber tribute was a bit cutting edge, I think we better go back to the best of Abba whilst we’ve still got the wigs” , ”We could do Queen if we don’t mention he was gay?”, “How about Glen Miller’s Greatest Hits?” , “No sorry we can’t afford the trombones” , “Ok then it’s Tunes of the Fifties and Sixties again, that always gets their feet tapping and most of the songs are out of copyright”

The magician Reg has disappeared. No seriously. Harold went to the theatre to see his show and a member of staff arrived to say they couldn’t find him and he hasn’t been seen since. I expect his remains will turn up one day in chains in a trunk in a forgotten corner of the crew’s quarters. Clutched in his skeletal hand will be an escapology text book with a fatal misprint.

Our comedian/impressionist Peter Goodright, has now been sent to the Arcadia for a fortnight of respite care (for the Aurora that is). His literally Dead Ringers included Max Wall, Ted Ray, Arthur Askey and most of the cast of Dad’s army. His act was more like a séance than a comedy show – I wonder if he could find the magician?

One of the best acts on the ship is Caravan. This is a band of five unlikely guys from the Philippines who have worked for P&O for years and can become real Dead Ringers for just about any band you want to hear. Yesterday lunchtime they were on the open pool deck doing ‘Rocking all over the World’ far better than Status Quo used to do it. They were surrounded by rocking wrinklies doing things that would make their grandchildren cringe. In the middle of the mêlée was an old lady, well into her eighties, who was shaking all the right bits although they were no longer, necessarily, quite in the right places. Now that’s what I really call entertainment.

Dave C